Gender Dysphoria

Gender dysphoria and the transgender myth

By: Dianne Christine Colbert

Gender dysphoria is a terrible condition.  The person who has gender dysphoria needs our compassion and support, just as any other person suffering from mental distress.  According to the DSM V, gender dysphoria in Adolescents and Adults is:

“A.  A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, of at least 6 months’ duration, as manifested by at least two of the following:

  1. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or in young adolescents, the anticipated secondary sex characteristics).
  2. A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics because of a marked incongruence with one’s experienced/expressed gender (or in young adolescents, a desire to prevent the development of the anticipated secondary sex characteristics).
  3. A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender. 4. A strong desire to be of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender).
  4. A strong desire to be treated as the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender).
  5. A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender).
  6. The condition is associated with clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning.”

No matter how terribly one feels it – and gender dysphoria is terrible for a person to live with – there is no such thing as a male born in a woman’s body, or a man born in a woman’s body.  This is a myth which turns feelings into fact.

One of the 10 Common Thinking Distortions talked about in mental health is mistaking facts for feelings.  It is well known that this creates psychological distress.  The whole transgender movement is based on mistaking feelings for facts.  There is a growing body of evidence that transgender is a psychological condition.  Political activists work hard to bury this evidence and silence those who report it with terms such as “transphobic” and “Bigot.”  There is an enormous amount of controversy on the treatment of children with gender dysphoria.

Pediatrician Michelle Cretella writes “The fact that in normal life and in psychiatry, anyone who “consistently and persistently insists” on anything else contrary to physical reality is considered either confused or delusional is conveniently ignored.”[i]


 In order to understand where we have got to today, we need to go to the history of the transgender movement.  Dr John Money, one of the founders, had a theory that “gender is a social construct.” He believed that a boy mostly acted like a boy because of the way they were treated, and the same with girls.  Dr. Money wanted to prove that nurture was more important than nature in determining gender.  He had an opportunity to test his theory when Bruce Reimer lost his penis from a botched circumcision on April 27, 1966.  This unfortunate circumstance is seen as the perfect opportunity for a test case, particularly as Bruce had a twin brother Brian.  He believed that if they were raised as boy and girl they would show the traits of male and female respectively.

In 1967 Dr. Money performs the sex-change surgery at John Hopkins hospital on Bruce who is now 22 months old.  He is renamed Brenda, and his parents follow the strict orders to socially condition Brenda as a girl.  He is discouraged from anything that would be seen as male behaviour, and encouraged in female activities.  The twins are assessed on yearly visits to Money to see how Brenda is adapting to being a girl.  Dr. Money provides glowing reports of success in journals and, due to these articles, the transgender movement takes off.  Known as the “John/Joan” case, it was widely publicized and gave credence to arguments presented in the 1970s by feminists and others that humans are sexually neutral at birth and that sex roles are largely the product of social conditioning.  Money’s writings about gender and his theories on nature vs. nurture were celebrated and adopted. He was featured in Time magazine and received national awards and honorary degrees.

But, in fact, the gender conversion was far from successful. Money’s experiment was a disaster for the Reimers.  Money ignored the emotional distress and problems in his reporting, only highlighting anything the parents said in a desperate attempt to make it work.  He was a complete fraud.  Money also forced the twins into various sex acts and took photographs of them on at least one occasion, as well as showing the children nude photographs.  Dr. Money’s rationale for these various treatments was his belief that “childhood ‘sexual rehearsal play'” was important for a “healthy adult gender identity.”

As early as a few months after the initial operation, at age 2, Brenda would angrily tear off her dress, refused to play with dolls, would beat up her twin brother and steal his toy cars and guns. She complained to her teachers and parents that she felt like a boy. She loved running and climbing and fighting and hated playing with dolls. She had no friends, and was constantly teased and ridiculed by classmates for her masculine looks and interests.”[ii]

At 14 years old a local psychologist convinced the parents “Brenda” needed to be told the truth.  He is relieved and takes on the name David.  David’s brother Brian didn’t cope well with the knowledge his “sister” was really born a boy.  It is reported that the trauma of this led to his schizophrenia, although I’m certain the abuse they suffered in Money’s office was also a contributing factor.  Brian died in 2002 of an overdose of anti-depressants, 2 years later David suicided at 38 years old.[iii]  There is a lot more to the story that can readily be found on the internet. You can watch a BBC documentary at this link: 

David Reimer suffered severe psychological distress because he was biologically a boy, but forced into living as a girl due to a false belief that his physical condition would case him unhappiness.  The opposite was true; he was unhappy because he was forced to live as a female and subjected to traumatic experiences throughout this process.

Dr Paul McHugh, the Psychiatrist and Chief at Johns Hopkins University, writes “We at Johns Hopkins University – which in the 1960s was the first American medical center to venture into “sex-reassignment surgery” – launched a study in the 1970s comparing the outcomes of transgendered people who had the surgery with the outcomes of those who did not. Most of the surgically treated patients described themselves as “satisfied” by the results, but their subsequent psycho-social adjustments were no better than those who didn’t have the surgery. And so at Hopkins we stopped doing sex-reassignment surgery, since producing a “satisfied” but still troubled patient seemed an inadequate reason for surgically amputating normal organs.”[iv]

Around the same time as this report, serious questions about the effectiveness of gender change came from endocrinologist Charles Ihlenfeld, partner to another pioneer in the transgender movement, Dr. Harry Benjamin.  In 1948 Alfred Kinsey recommended a patient to Dr. Benjamin. Born male, the patient expressed an acute desire to become a woman. At the time, the recommended treatment for individuals such as Benjamin’s patient was psychoanalytic therapy aimed at making the mind fit the body. Benjamin, however, was unconvinced of the effectiveness of that approach. Seeing gender identity on a continuum, he believed that some people could be born male but feel female and the more-sensible treatment would be to alter the body to better fit the patient’s perceived gender.  He counseled the patient to travel to Europe, where surgeons performed one of the earliest gender-reassignment operations.  Benjamin lost contact with the patient, however went on to treat several hundred patients with similar needs in a similar manner.

Dr. Charles Ihlenfeld worked with Benjamin for six years and administered sex hormones to 500 transsexuals.  Ihlenfeld shocked Benjamin by publicly announcing that 80 percent of the people who want to change their gender should not.  Ihlenfeld said: “There is too much unhappiness among people who have had the surgery… Too many end in suicide.”  Ihlenfeld stopped administering hormones to patients with gender dysphoria and switched specialties to psychiatry so he could offer such patients the kind of help he believed they really needed.[v]

In the wake of the Hopkins study and closure of the Hopkins clinic, and the warning sounded by Charles Ihlenfeld, advocates of sex change surgery needed a new approach.  Benjamin and Money looked to their friend, Paul Walker, PhD, a homosexual and transgender activist they knew shared their passion to provide hormones and surgery.  A committee was formed to draft standards of care for transgenders that furthered their agenda, with Paul Walker at the helm.  “The committee included a psychiatrist, a pedophilia activist, two plastic surgeons, and a urologist, all of whom would financially benefit from keeping gender reassignment surgery available for anyone who wanted it. The “Harry Benjamin International Standards of Care” were published in 1979 and gave fresh life to gender surgery.”[vi]  The Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association is now known as the World Professional Association for Transgendered Health.  Without any scrutiny or accountability for their results, private practices have grown and expanded.

 Walt Heyer suffered from gender dysphoria (then known as Gender Identity Disorder) for the majority of his life.  Walt writes “I myself suffered greatly to come to terms with my gender. In 1981, I sought out Dr. Walker to ask him, the man who wrote the standards of care, for help. Walker said I was suffering from gender dysphoria. A mere two years after both the Hopkins study and the public statements of Ihlenfeld drew attention to the increased suicide risk associated with gender change, Walker, even though he was completely aware of both reports, signed my approval letter for hormones and surgery.  Under his guidance, I underwent gender reassignment surgery and lived for eight years as Laura Jensen, female.  Eventually, I gathered the courage to admit that the surgery had fixed nothing – it only masked and exacerbated deeper psychological problems.  The deception and lack of transparency I experienced in the 1980s still surround gender change surgery today. For the sake of others who struggle with gender dysphoria, I cannot remain silent.”

Walt’s background includes his grandmother dressing him in a purple chiffon dress and affirming him as a girl.  He also reports being sexually abused by an uncle.  Walt was told it was a clear-cut case of gender dysphoria – strong, persistent feelings of identification with the opposite gender and discomfort with one’s own assigned sex.  He was told the only way to get relief was to surgically change genders.  Walt speaks about how he was led to believe he was ‘born that way,’ which he now knows was a lie.  Two months before the surgery Walt became divorced from his wife, and his children distanced themselves from him.  His family was torn apart by his uninformed decision to proceed with sex-change surgery.  You can learn more about Walt on his website:

Dr Paul McHugh writes “policy makers and the media are doing no favors either to the public or the transgendered by treating their confusions as a right in need of defending rather than as a mental disorder that deserves understanding, treatment and prevention. This intensely felt sense of being transgendered constitutes a mental disorder in two respects. The first is that the idea of sex misalignment is simply mistaken – it does not correspond with physical reality. The second is that it can lead to grim psychological outcomes.” [vii]

Debra Soh comments in the Wall Street Journal that “Of the boys and girls seen in clinics like Dr. Zucker’s, a high percentage – up to 80% in a study of 44 gender-dysphoric boys – grow up to be not transgender, but bisexual, gay or lesbian adults. Thus, helping prepubescent children feel comfortable in their birth sex makes more sense than starting a lifetime of hormonal treatments and surgeries that will in all likelihood turn out to be unnecessary and unwanted.”[viii]

 Possible causes for developing Gender Dysphoria

 According to the American College of Paediatricians, possible causes for the development of gender dysphoria in children from clinical case studies include:  “social reinforcement, parental psychopathology, family dynamics; Adverse childhood events not limited to sexual abuse; social contagion facilitated by mainstream and social media.”[ix]

 There are many examples of people who have come to realise the reasons for their gender dysphoria which would fit into this.  Here are a few examples from personal accounts shared on the website of Help4Families: [x]

Ricky tells us “I was a confused boy, seeking comfort inside. Why did it start? A key moment may have been when my mother told me, “If you had been a girl, we would have called you Natalie.” My stepsister had died at age 4, causing my mother deep anguish. So I tried to replace that lost daughter in an effort to make Mother love me and to end the physical punishment she inflicted on me. Dad was quiet and withdrawn and did nothing to help me.”

Kathy shares “My dad was emotionally and verbally abusive and was detached from the family. My mom, on the other hand, was continually seeking nurturing from me. I soon learned that for her to love me, it would cost me a lot. Then my older brother sexually abused me and left me feeling that I had no one to talk to. The desire to become a boy burned even greater.

Anonymously written, we hear “My childhood really was not much different from others in my generation of the sixties and seventies. I had a distant, and sometimes, violent relationship with my father. I fought with my two brothers almost everyday. I am the oldest of four siblings; two brothers and a sister. My youngest brother, Bret, attempted suicide when I was sixteen, he was eleven. He shot himself in the stomach with my father’s 22 rifle that was witnessed by my brother. Needless to say, this had quite an impact on my life. Bret did survive this attempt only to die a few years later in a car accident. He was sixteen years old.”

Donna tells us that “My mother was a very sick person. She was an alcoholic who abused me verbally, physically, sexually and there was some ritualistic abuse as well. I can remember her doing these things all my life. There were nightly rituals and every night ended the same way – my mom would get beside my bed and whisper that everything that was wrong in her life was my fault.”

A man shares “My testimony began as a small redheaded baby, not wanted by her mom or dad, placed up for adoption-taken in by her grandparents. They did the best they could and provided a strong Christian foundation still there was some voids-because of age difference/generation and their hurts never dealt with…  Being sexually molested as a child from a male family member, my trust in males quickly became distorted. Even though it was so long ago, I remember where and how in complete detail, having some memories haunts me in my dreams to this day.”

Help4Families writes “As the family learns about their loved one’s gender identity disorder, it becomes important to them to learn more about his or her family dynamics and background in order to help bring an understanding of what may have been the root(s) that brought on same sex-attraction, cross-dressing or desire for sex-reverse surgery. Though answers may be difficult to face, doing so will bring about an understanding of how this challenge came to be in their lives.

  • Does not (or did not) perceive being accepted or loved by the opposite-sex parent
  • Believes he or she would be more accepted by his or her parent if he or she were the opposite sex
  • Feels (or felt) no inherent personal value in their gender; feels (or felt) weak in their God-given gender
  • Has a need for approval of the same-sex peers
  • May have experienced physical and/or emotional abuse
  • Perceives being unloved or/and inadequate[xi]

Another cause for a person who feels transgender is a form of lust born of the flesh, just as all sexual sin can be.  Autogynephilia is when someone born male experiences sexual arousal to the image of being female.  The person is following the lusts of the flesh, and not walking according to the Spirit.

Brain study on differences in transsexuals.

 Some people will assert that there brain studies which prove transgender is biological.  While there is a study showing that transsexuals brains are different, the conclusions drawn are questionable. This is most likely due to neuroplasticity.  Neuroplasticity is the well established phenomenon in which long-term behavior alters brain microstructure. There is no evidence that people are born with brain microstructures that are forever unalterable, but there is significant evidence that experience changes brain microstructure.[xii]  Therefore, if and when valid transgender brain differences are identified, these will be more likely the result of transgender behavior than its cause.

In their position statement “Gender Ideology Harms Children,” the American College of Pediatricians states:[xiii]Human sexuality is an objective biological binary trait: “XY” and “XX” are genetic markers of male and female, respectively – not genetic markers of a disorder. The norm for human design is to be conceived either male or female. Human sexuality is binary by design with the obvious purpose being the reproduction and flourishing of our species. This principle is self-evident. The exceedingly rare disorders of sex development (DSDs), including but not limited to testicular feminization and congenital adrenal hyperplasia, are all medically identifiable deviations from the sexual binary norm, and are rightly recognized as disorders of human design. Individuals with DSDs do not constitute a third sex.”

As one woman writes “I just wanted to be male, but I was always going to be trans.”[xiv]  They recount how they received treatment without any psychological counselling and had no real concept of gender.  While transgender surgery and hormones will change many things, the biological XX and XY chromosomes that make a person male and female will always remain the same.

Changes from DSM IV to DSM V

It has been commented on in several articles that the changes in the DSM V reflects it is not pathological for a person who believes their biological gender is not their gender.  In other words, they are using the changes in the DSM V to say that transgender is normal.  It has progressed to the point that it is claimed a person who doesn’t have severe psychological distress can be diagnosed as transgender.  Dr. Robin Rosenberg, a clinical psychologist writes “many transgender people – those who identify with a gender different than the one they were assigned at birth – are not distressed by their cross-gender identification and should not be diagnosed with gender dysphoria…  Transgender people and their allies have pointed out that distress in gender dysphoria is not an inherent part of being transgender.”[xv]

You often hear “But they might suicide if they don’t have transgender surgery.”  As someone who has lost a younger brother to suicide, I would not want to see this occur with anyone.  I personally understand the impacts of this on entire families and the community.   However I believe this argument is a lie born out of misplaced compassion.  We know that suicide rates are high for those that do have surgery – while there might be short term relief, as there was in Walt’s case, in the long term the root causes that led to the feelings of gender dysphoria are still there.


“Help4Families believes—and has seen—that God truly can restore a gender-confused person (Psalm 103:2-3; Isaiah 53:5; John 10:10; 1 Peter 2:24). We believe, then, that it is our God-mandated duty to reach out in love and truth to those who struggle with gender confusion, despite the prevailing mood of our culture, which condones gender autonomy and condemns efforts to restore the gender-confused. We will obey God in this matter, regardless of the cost (Acts 5:29; Galatians 5:13-14).”[xvi]

I read an article recently where a church in Sydney felt the right thing to do was to help a man divorce his wife and become a woman – because of the extreme gender dysphoria he felt.  While this may seem right because of emotions, it is not right.  It is a lie from Satan and goes completely against what God has designed for us as male and female, created in His image.  Our feelings do not determine truth.  Satan comes to kill and to steal and to destroy, and one of the ways he does this is through deception.  Transgender is part of Satan’s push to remove male and female from the dictionary.  Terms such as cisgender are being used to replace male and female.  For those that haven’t caught up, Cisgender “is a term for people whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth.”  It is also described in the dictionary as the opposite to transgender.

Some of those who have chosen to walk the difficult path of healing after transgender surgery and de-transition (return to their birth sex) have shared that in retrospect what they did was very selfish as it brought so much pain to their family – wife/husband and children.  I urge Pastors and church leaders to find ways to support people with gender dysphoria in a compassionate and Biblical manner.  Jesus said “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”  It is unloving to allow people to continue to walk in deception that brings them so much pain – even if they don’t acknowledge that this is the cause for their pain.  Scripture encourages us to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).

The struggles for people with gender confusion/dysphoria are more than psychosomatic; they are real and must be taken seriously, with godly compassion.  Like any other area of brokenness that leads to sin, our minds need to be transformed by the word of God.  God is loving, compassionate and full of grace.  His kindness leads us to repentance – to turn around and walk in the opposite direction.  Truth is not defined by our feelings, it is defined by the word of God.

Jesus said that He came to heal the broken hearted, to set the captive free.  A personal encounter with Jesus is what changes everything.  For some this has required coming to Him again and again.  Sometimes God heals people instantly, often it is a journey and a process.  In the journey there is a learning process of putting off old mindsets and destructive ways of behaving.  We cannot use the worlds teaching as an excuse to continue to walk in sin.  We are called to walk in righteousness.  1 Peter 2:24 (MEV) “He Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness. “By His wounds you were healed.” 

We hear in Galatians 6:1-2 (MEV) “Brothers, if a man is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore such a one in the spirit of meekness, watching yourselves, lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”  Spiritual in this context refers to those who live by the Spirit. We have been commanded to help gently restore those walking according to the flesh, whose actions place them in danger.  Notice the exhortation to watch ourselves so that we don’t become tempted, to do so in a spirit of humility knowing that we are all vulnerable.  The goal is to bring restoration, not to punish the person.

In John 8:2-11 we have the well known story of the women caught in adultery.  Often this is used is an illustration of God’s amazing grace, and rightly so.  However we must not neglect the last part of this “Go and sin no more.”  One of my greatest concerns is the growing presence of sin permitted under the disguise of grace.  Jude writes For there are some men who secretly crept in, who were marked long ago for this condemnation. They are ungodly men, who pervert the grace of our God into immorality and deny the only Lord God and our Lord Jesus Christ.”

We hear in Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”  Revisionists will often say we are all created in God’s image and use this as justification for homosexuality and transgenderism.  They have taken the verse out of context by leaving out a part of it, the truth has been twisted into a lie.  Personal experience becomes the matrix for which the text is interpreted rather than objective truth.

I’d like to end with a powerful story of redemption shared with Help4Families:

Will you Trust Him?

By Kerry Potter

It was an early Spring morning as I sat on my front porch watching the sunrise. I had not been able to sleep much the night before, thoughts of all the failures that comprised my life were playing over and over in my mind. I could feel hot tears in my eyes as I rallied all the sincerity I could muster and then I began to pray, “God, please kill me – please take me home, for I cannot bear to live another day like this. If I can never know the overcoming life you talk about in your word then please just take me home, for it breaks my heart to sin against you and my wife this way. My soul is like a heavily fortified city – with no gates! There is nothing to prevent these dark thoughts from entering my mind and heart. They wear me down – and wear me down, until I finally succumb; no matter how hard I try to fight them – they inevitably win. Where is the victory you promise in your word? Why do you not take these desires from my heart? I want to serve you as the man you have created me to be – but the “mistress” of my heart demands all of me and I cannot shut her out of my mind. PLEASE LORD, JUST KILL ME!”

As I look back now I realize how selfish that prayer really was, but I also understand the state of desperation I was in when I prayed it. For forty years there had been a battle raging in my mind concerning my transgender feelings and on that morning I knew I had to make a choice; do I give in to the desires of my heart and finally find some peace, or do I believe God and His word?

Deuteronomy 22:5 “A women must not wear men’s clothing, and a man must not wear women’s clothing. The Lord your God detests people who do this.”

For as long as I can remember I knew there was something wrong with me; I can remember looking at myself in the mirror and telling myself, “I hate you”. I remember the first day I first dressed up in my mother’s clothes and looking in that same mirror; how truly “right” it looked and felt. I remember how deeply I believed I really was a “female spirit” trapped inside a male body.

But I can also remember how my crossdressing cost me my first marriage, and how it cost me my relationship with my three children and here it was now threatening my current marriage. It demanded all my time and my money – it was demanding the rest of my life. I knew I had to do something, but what? To deny my feelings only seemed to make me more miserable, but to lose my current wife and destroy all my other relationships with family and friends – it was an impossible choice. I did not know what to do – I felt so helpless.

A couple of weeks later I confided my situation to a dear friend and with the Holy Spirit’s help and lot’s of prayer, he and another friend began to gently instruct me about the truth of my situation. They led me to Psalms 139:13-16, “You made all the delicate inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – and how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

According to God’s word I was not a mistake! They also shared Proverbs 14:12, “There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.” So much for relying on my feelings! Then came Romans 9:20, “Who are you, a mere human being, to criticize God? Should the thing that was made say to the one who made it, “Why have you made me like this?

This was a hard truth, but the reality was that I was not a “female spirit” trapped inside a man’s body; I was a confused man trapped in the sins of idolatry and lust! My dressing in women’s clothes was only the evidence of a much deeper and more serious spiritual problem. By claiming that God had made a mistake and placed my “female” spirit in a male body I was actually saying that God was either an incredibly sadistic God or uncaring and imperfect one. Who in their right mind would want to serve or worship a God like that? By my thoughts and actions I was declaring myself to be God, and my “feelings” had became my standard of truth. Is that not the classic definition of a fallen man? I set myself up as God and then blamed Him for all the parts of my life that were out of control.

Colossians 3:5,6 says this, “So put to death the sinful, earthy things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual sin, impurity, lust and shameful desires. Don’t be greedy for the good things of this life, for that is idolatry. God’s terrible anger will come upon those who do such things.” I had to face the reality that my problems were not as special or unusual as I thought they were, no matter how much I may have felt that no one could possibly understand what I was going through, the reality was I was just a common sinner like everybody else.

Even though I had received these truth’s into my heart, they had not fully worked themselves out in my life yet; from time to time I would still find myself dressing-up in female clothes and then purging them. But even though I would fall from time to time I knew God had not given up on me. There was so much “junk” to be dealt with in my heart by the Holy Spirit. I had self-image issues, I had pride issues, I had trust issues. I had so many issues and so many hurts in so many places in my heart I could not understand how God, or my wife, or anyone else could even like me – let alone love me.

But the truth is God and my beautiful wife do love me – they love the real me, the scared and broken me – the me that all too often shatters and breaks. God has also lead me to other men who, empowered by Christ’s love, were walking the same road as I and overcoming their sexual addictions as well. Through the study of God’s word I gained a new sense of self-worth; I started seeing myself as He saw me. Even though change was not coming on my timetable – it was still coming. The Holy Spirit was busy untangling and removing the lies that had been implanted so deeply in my heart and He was teaching me what it was to be a man – and a child of God.

One day as I was reading my bible the Lord asked me a question, he asked, “My son, what do you really want?” After thinking about it I replied, “I want to learn what it is to overcome, I want to be done with this cycle of sin in my life, I want to live in the freedom, holiness and the power you promised me in the scriptures. But most of all I really want to know you.” Then the Holy Spirit then led me to Matthew 16:24,25, “Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me. If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life.

Then the Lord said to my spirit, “You fail because you are fighting in your own strength, and you surrender to your fleshly desires instead of surrendering fully to me. If you would fully surrender to me you would find the battle is already won, but if you hold on to these things you will continue to fail – and eventually you will fall. Do you really want to be my disciple? Will you trust me?”


Romans 6:3-7 “Have you forgotten that when you became Christians and were baptized to become one with Christ Jesus, we died with him? For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ has been raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we have new lives. Since we have been united with him in his death, we also will be raised as he was. Our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin.” Galatians 5:24 “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to the cross and crucified them there.”

So, I obeyed the Lord, it was scary at first, but I finally invited Jesus to be Lord of all my heart. I would like to say I surrendered all the “junk” in my heart to Him that day, but in reality it took time. To surrender to the Lord and to live by faith is the easiest, yet hardest, thing I have ever done. It was easy because, I knew down in my heart, that I could trust Him and it was hard because it is difficult sometimes to let go of the things we know and have become comfortable with. But the end result is that the old desire’s are finally being crucified and in their place is a knowledge of the faithfulness of my Savior Jesus and a peace beyond understanding.

Yes, I know there will be some who will read this and say, it is not possible to walk free or to be happy denying oneself. Others will try to justify themselves by playing word games and saying I’ve somehow misrepresented the truth of scripture. Others will try to justify themselves by saying that I was obviously never really transgender at all and therefore could not possible understand the complexities of what I am talking about. But in the end it doesn’t matter what anyone else says, because here I am – a living epistle and witness to the power of the Cross of Christ, of God’s plan of redemption and His unending love for a lost and broken man. What He has done for me is not unique – and the best news is that it is available to all who will simply ask. Do you think it is impossible to be set free from the desires of your sinful nature? Do you think there is a human soul that is too lost to be saved? To me, Jesus has answered these questions and He has more than proved himself faithful and true; but these questions are not for me, they are for you. Will you trust him? Will you walk with Him upon the narrow path?

Matthew 7:13,14 “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and it’s gate is wide for the many that choose it’s easy way. But the gateway to life is small, and the road is narrow, and only a few ever find it.” All Bible versus quoted from the New Living Translation.










[ix] (



[xii] Gu J, Kanai R. What contributes to individual differences in brain structure? Front Hum Neurosci 2014;8:262







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